ramblings of a 20-something-year-old magical gal...

my tiktok fyp has been showing me "phone free" summer ideas: single-purpose devices to use instead of your phone. idk how well i can handle this but after purchasing my first vintage digicam, i'm inspired to try using my phone less. here's a rambling list of what i want to accomplish this summer (and maybe longer..?).
⋆˚✿˖° finishing my physical tbr!! i got like 15 books unread since 2023 OTL (and that's not including e-books on my libby lol)
⋆˚✿˖° watch more movies! i'm not a movie person at all, but i want to watch more than just ghibli films.
⋆˚✿˖° video games: restarting tears of the kingdom, replaying the world ends with you, tomodachi life, maybe finish legends: arceus???
⋆˚✿˖° continue making clay creatures and painting with acrylics.
⋆˚✿˖° continue my coloring book!
⋆˚✿˖° playing with my digicam and instax camera.
⋆˚✿˖° daily trips: thrift stores, free little libraries, cafes, hikes, etc. summer 2023 i had a whole thing of trying new cafes and pokemon card shops, so i want to do smth like that again. my local library is finally open again so i plan to go there more now!
⋆˚✿˖° personal journaling with writing, scrapbook, sketching & doodling
⋆˚✿˖° maybe get an ipod nano again????
⋆˚✿˖° exploring more of neocities and getting inspiration.
⋆˚✿˖° and ofc continue my website. sooooo many things i want to upload here!
no more..!

in the tt, they mentioned how self-proclaimed weird kids say they grew up on nerdy/geeky things, and were always made fun of for it and that it wasn't true bc it's only really post-2020 that nerdy culture is considered mainstream and popular. being a true weird kid, i was made fun of in middle school bc i wasn't "like other girls". i didn't adhere to gender-roles, so female classmates would make fun of me bc i wasn't "girly" ( liking makeup, dating boys, etc.) and i enjoyed "boy" things (video games, anime, etc.). as i got older and started working with younger generations, i used my interests to connect to them bc nerd-culture is considered "normal". it's strange to see my interests that made me a target become an acceptable condition. i miss the almost secretive nature of anime- trying to find clips of an anime on youtube, indirectly linking you to some obscure manga series that wasn't fully translated, then finding its inspiration based on an underground subculture from japan that has 1 site with no english anywhere... seeing memes of the 2000s/2010s go viral nowadays gives me so much whiplash bc i always thought it would be known to me and no one else. i'm happy to be something like a forefather to current internet culture. i get a bit of spite AND relief that these current gens won't experience bullying bc you liked a non-American medium or the actual internet treks you had to make to find a single source for your interests. no more..!

after realizing that i am neurodivergent in my adult years, i’ve become thankful that i grew up with enough sense and friends/family who cared abt my well-being. chris-chan is one of my major interest bc it’s so fascinating but tragic learning what they became. i advocate nurturing nds to grow in their interests and not be bothered by societal demands, but chris-chan just defies all of that. it’s not totally their fault - the early internet was (and still is tbh) disgusting towards autistic individuals. the parents of chis-chan are the WORST example of how not to teach and love autistic children. i spiral into thinking what my life would’ve been like if i grew up in that household and had pure unfiltered internet access. it’s like watching livecam vids. you shouldn’t be watching this, but ur curiosity hungers to see the carnage. u want chris-chan to fall for ur entertainment, even if u know its morally wrong. it's just sad. no more..!

i was too young perusing through it without a care in the world, and i was born a bit too late to truly feel that y2k nostalgia. but i had fun - website were still wonky and ugly. flash games were at their prime. i didn't spend my internet days on social media just scrolling. i had interaction. i clicked things and was transported to new worlds. i made crappy paint art and was proud of it. youtube had videos of ppl just chillin and not giving a care abt the world. and now i want to make the next gen's internet users feel that again. no more..!